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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27884893">Love Languages</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/amigaveneno/pseuds/trashwitch'>trashwitch (amigaveneno)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What's Your Love Language? [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bleach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:41:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,078</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27884893</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/amigaveneno/pseuds/trashwitch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is a complicated emotion. It is informed by chemicals in the brain, by illness, by trauma. You could find yourself in love with an abuser or someone you have no interest in because they understand your love language. </p><p>And Renji is one of those people, who try as they might, fell in love with the wrong Kuchiki.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Byakuya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What's Your Love Language? [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2041762</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Receiving Gifts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dev14/gifts">Dev14</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>To Dev, for making me laugh during a very hard time with work/life balance for me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Chapter One. Receiving Gifts </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Throughout the ages, no matter culture, language, or era, love has always been an important part of human existence. The love of a parent to a child:  pure, unconditional, protective. The love of a sibling to another: rivalrous, teasing, deathly protective. The love of a pet, the love of even an aloe plant that has survived longer than any other plant. Love is a complex emotion, fraught with misgivings, confusion, and a loose, barely there borderline between a non-platonic love and a platonic love, a romantic love and a non-romantic, friendship and significant other. </p><p>Renji Abarai found himself drowning within the turbulent waters of the different kinds of love. He knew of familial love, and of romantic, and of love towards one self, a little bit, but he never really thought about those differences and how he could be lost within them. </p><p>Renji, proud father, loving husband, and excellent lieutenant found himself distinctly out of love with the woman he thought was his soulmate, his Rukia, the mother of his one and only child. </p><p>He wasn’t ‘out of love’ for Rukia. He still loved her, dearly, with his whole heart and his soul and everything. She was his very best, closest, most beloved friend. </p><p>And, there, was the issue. </p><p>After a decade and a child, he found himself musing on the fact that he did not love Rukia, romantically. He loved her as a dear friend, as family, as a platonic soulmate. But, unfortunately, not as a lover and wife. </p><p>The issue actually began before Ichika was born, but he, like many, thought a child would fix the problem. He would find again that romantic, fluttery, deep down love for Rukia. </p><p>The years passed and it never came. </p><p>However, he noticed he did get the butterflies, the racing heart, the love of attention from his captain. Straight black hair, grey eyes, and a deep voice that could make him admit every secret to the world were it only to ask.</p><p>Year six of his marriage, Head-Commander Kyouraku asked if he would take the mantle of captain. Having trained in the Zero Squad, having truly become a force to be reckoned, mastered the true form of his bankai, and with a reitsu that could break the walls around his home, he was an obvious choice.</p><p>He turned them down, since that met less time with his captain, though he did not say that. Even though he hadn’t a clue that he was head-over-heels, to-the-moon-and-back in love with his stone-walled captain. He convinced himself he wasn’t yet ready, he hadn’t yet beaten his captain in a fair one-on-one duel.</p><p>But that was the issue. He wasn’t anywhere near emotionless or stone-hearted. Not at all. In fact, spend enough time with him, you’d see a sense of humor dryer than a red wine but just as robust, with intellect to match. Captain Kuchiki is and will always be a soldier, a hero, a kind person (though not necessarily nice in delivery). He always remembered Renji’s birthday, his favorite food, and would sometimes tease him about using Senbonzakura to cut Renji’s unruly, red locks, reminding him of how completely he fooled him that first time. </p><p>He was deeply, irreversibly in love with Byakuya Kuchiki while married to Byakuya’s beloved, perfect, gorgeous, kind, and amazing sister. </p><p>The academy should have spent less time teaching him kido and more time about how just because you love something doesn’t mean you're <em> in love </em>with that person. That romantic love and friendly love are confusing and that, sometimes, one could make a mistake. </p><p>However, Renji knew, without a doubt, there was no way out. He loved Rukia with all his heart, in a way a close friend would. But that would never be enough. Captain Kuchiki paid for their wedding, his wedding outfit. He paid for Ichika’s private tutors, her birthday celebrations, he absolutely spoiled his niece. Renji tried to fight all these fiscal gifts, but the captain would always take a moment to look thoughtful and then say, “This is for the best. I like spoiling those I care for.” Renji knew he meant Rukia, and later, Ichika. He knew it wasn’t for him, he didn’t matter. But he still found himself a little more in love with his captain and, sort of, friend, every time. </p><p>Renji Abarai was stuck. In love with his captain but also owing so much to him and his wife, who had done nothing wrong but be the wrong Kuchiki. Renji couldn’t help but feel jealous of humans who only had to live a few decades with their mistakes before they passed. He had centuries to live in love with the wrong person. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Words of Affirmation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>POV from Ichika Abarai of her parent's quickly unraveling marriage.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I apologize for the delayed update. I've been very, very busy with work. Trying to launch a new product while having three people quit in your six person department kinda sucks. That in mind, I am sorry for the poor state of editing of this piece. I may edit it later for cleanliness and more consistent tense use. Please be patient with me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Children, especially younger children, are often thought of as, for lack of better term, dim or absent-minded. Children are not expected to notice how social and interpersonal relationships ebb and flow around them. They have a mommy and they have a daddy and maybe it’s two mommies or daddies or whatever combination. Either way, parents love each other, they are supposed to, and that is how things go. Supposedly.</p><p>And when things are not going how they are supposed to with parents, the children are always the first to notice. </p><p>Ichika was walking beside her parents as they made their way to the Sixth Division’s offices. They were meeting her uncle there, as it was her mother’s birthday. The cold winter wind bit at the tips of her fingers and reddened her nose. Snow covered all the surfaces and things felt peacefully, coldly, silent. It was a fitting birthday for her mother and the captain of the Thirteenth Division. It was reminiscent of her bankai, which Ichika had only seen once. Her uncle once told her that her mother’s bankai was as cold as the universe and able to freeze so suddenly, so desperately beautiful, that he was absolutely stunned by it. Ichika beamed with pride to have a mother so strong. Rukia’s Kuchiki’s bankai was cold and silent, and yet, deafening.</p><p>It was how Ichika would say her parents marriage was going. She remembered, when she was younger, how joyful and teasing they used to be. Laughter was the rule of the Abarai house. When Uncle visited, even he sometimes had to crack a small smile at the antics her parents would get into. Uncle would sneak her a bonbon while her dad and mom fought about who forgot to get what and who was getting ‘too old to remember’ things. </p><p>They used to kiss. They used to hug. They used to laugh.</p><p>She struggles, now, to remember how long it has been since she has seen them just enjoy each other's company, much less showcase their love. The love that they’re supposed to have for one another forever and ever, as all the children’s books said. Rukia was the princess of the Kuchiki family, Ichika often daydreamed, and her father was the dastardly rogue who fought tooth and nail to win her princess’ love. And he had it now, and they were supposed to love each other until the end of time. That’s what the books and movies and songs said. Supposed to.</p><p>Another cold wind kicked Ichika out of her musings. The last thing she needs is frozen tears. </p><p>They both love her, she knows this. Dad always, always makes time for her. She knows he has bankai and was trained in the Royal Palace, and she’s asked him time and time again why he doesn’t have a captaincy. And he always smiles and tickles her and says, “If I’m a captain I can’t spend as much time with you. And why would I want that?” She loves her father so much. He is her best friend. They often wrestle and take turns making dinner for mom. She asks him if she could get tattoos and he grins and teases her about her being too much of a wimp for it. He takes her swimming in the summer and sledding in the winter. He spars with her weekly and makes sure her marks from school are at the top. Her father is, as far as she is concerned, perfect. If every child had a father like Renji Abarai, there would be no lack of love in the world.</p><p>She loves her mother equally, but dad is right about availability. Mom isn’t home nearly as often as him. She works longer days, has many more meetings, and sometimes is too tired to spend much time with her. Ichika understands and holds no bitterness. Her mom works for this life she and dad have built. She works and tries and succeeds. Sometimes mom will get home late and she’s already in bed, pretending to be asleep. On some level, Ichika realizes she does this so her mother can miss her as much as Ichika does every day. Sometimes a child just wants the comforting love of both their parents, not just one at a time. But, for all these years, her mom always gives her a kiss goodnight. Rukia Abarai, her mother, the most beautiful woman in all the Seireitei, is her hero. Ichika aspired to be as strong, graceful, and poised as her mother. </p><p>“Captain Kuchiki is running a bit behind on paperwork. He asked me to let you know to please go up to the office and get out of the cold while he finishes up,” the guard to the entrance of the Sixth said, giving her a little wave. </p><p>She hadn’t noticed they had already made it to their destination. </p><p>Ichika glances over at her parents. Her father is laughing at something with the guard and her mother is, well for lack of better term, not there. </p><p>She was staring off into the distance. Ichika grew concerned and tapped her mothers arm a bit, to bring her out of whatever thought-vacuum she had fallen into. Her mother jumped and turned to look at Ichika. There was something in her eyes, storming and loud. Rukia opened her mouth, for a moment, as if to say something, and then shook her head. </p><p>“Come on, Renji, Ichika, it’s getting colder and my brother is waiting.”</p><p>They walk up the stairs, down the halls, and finally approach the office of the Captain of the Sixth Division, Byakuya Kuchiki.</p><p>Ichika takes one last glance at her mother and smiles, hoping to cheer her up from whatever funk she was in. Her mother takes her hand, and her father opens the door into the warm office. They step in, with her father standing by the door and she and her mother bow lightly to Uncle. </p><p>“Nii-sama, it’s good to see you.”</p><p>If she didn’t know her mother was adopted, she would have sworn she and Uncle Byakuya were related. They looked similar. Big eyes, short dark eyebrows, and they both just looked a bit small and quiet. Unlike her and her father with their loud mouths, bigger attitudes, and bright hair. She and her father couldn’t look more different. </p><p>“I thank you all for your patience. It should be not more than a few minutes for me to finish. I have a lieutenant that enjoys leaving all the work to me”, Uncle Byakuya said with, not quite a smile, but a pointed look at her father. Ichika turned around to look at her father who was standing behind her, having just closed the office door. </p><p>His expression was different. Unusual, almost...shy? Ichika couldn’t place it. She had never seen her father look so sheepish. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Captain Kuchiki, but another captain needed my services today,” her father said. </p><p>Uncle nodded and was writing quickly through his work. Ichika turned to her mother to giggle about the exchange between her father and uncle but paused when she saw her mother’s expression. </p><p>She looked furious. Her brows were creased and her lips were in a deep frown. She did not seem to be looking at anything. </p><p>Ichika turned to her father, to ask if he knew what put her mother in such bad spirits, but saw her had walked over to Uncle’s desk, and was chatting away with him. Uncle Byakuya was smiling while writing, and looked up every once in a while to look at her father fondly.</p><p>As her uncle put down his brush, finally having finished his work, Ichika let out a deep, deep sigh. </p><p>Today was going to be a bad day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Uh, next chapter will have a lot more ByaRen I assure you. It'll be almost entirely ByaRen. I'm just building up to it, and like, I don't wanna make this series long because I am lazy, unmotivated, and busy, but also I don't wanna do a poor job of pacing the story, but I also don't wanna do a poor job of pacing my loss of sanity as life beats me into a pulp. Also I felt like this was so much longer than it was, I'm so sorry LOL. I'll make up for it, I promise.</p><p>Anywho, please let me know your thoughts, I suppose.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is something that has been sitting in my brain since I read the ending of Bleach. I want to be clear: I do not hate RenRuki but, rather, their relationship felt wrong in my head. Having lived the life I have lived thus far, their relationship felt like soulmates, absolutely, but in a friendly way. They did not feel like they romantically loved each other. This fic is me navigating that discomfort. Mind you, I am ByaRen garbage and so I am also biased. </p><p>This was influenced by this thought of myself having felt love to friends that later, I found, was just the that I loved my friend like a friend and not of a romantic partner. Platonic versus romantic. Human brains suck at telling the difference unless you look for them. </p><p>Sorry for typos or anything: I don't have a lot of time to write or edit, so I try to clean it up as much as I can but I post my writings mostly unedited. I apologize. </p><p>I am framing all these as a reference to the concept, and I guess book, of love languages.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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